


Yesteryear, Become Today

by shinealightrose



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Former Lovers - Freeform, M/M, Some angst, a little bit of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 20:30:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7283587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinealightrose/pseuds/shinealightrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years after they broke up, Minseok and Lu Han fake their relationship on the weekend of his sister’s wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yesteryear, Become Today

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Sex, drunkenness, bachelor parties, family weddings, a little angst before the end; Jongin in a hetero/OC relationship. 
> 
> Written for TheLuminations 2016

There is a single queen bed in their room. It's homey and comfortable, exactly like a bed and breakfast should be. Cute pillows and a four post frame, assorted antique dressers and table. A small entertainment cabinet with a television and remotes, and two extra cozy armchairs before it, even a ready to burn fireplace. A bowl of potpourri sits enticingly sweet on one of the bedside tables.

Lu Han drags his suitcase onto the rack next to the closet while Minseok immediately grabs the potpourri and tosses it in the bathroom trashcan.

"Thanks," says the other man without further comment, or indeed, without expression.

"Yeah," Minseok responds drolly. He'll take the bag out soon so that the lingering scent won't trouble Lu Han's sinuses. A few years may have passed since they dated, but Minseok still remembers the important things. With longing, he eyes the deep, sunken bathtub with its clawed feet and array of bubble bath amenities. In another lifetime, maybe they could have...

"Are you done in there? I need to use the bathroom."

Minseok stifles the old, old feelings, grabs the bag by its handles and quickly vacates the room. "Yeah. I'll... I'm going to explore the rest of the house. Find the dining room, etc."

"Sure." Lu Han doesn't share his enthusiasm. Minseok barely has any himself.

It's an eight room B&B, and every other room is full up with family friends and relatives for his baby sister's wedding. They met the owners on their way in, a cute elderly couple who are here to please and make their stay as welcoming and romantic as it's possible to be. This should be a time of remembrance, of indwelling, of celebrating the small things in life and love ahead of the big ceremony which happens in two days' time.

Minseok and Lu Han are supposed to be in love too. They're supposed to be dating.

But all of that ended officially two years ago, and it's only under duress that they're here together now. Pretending. This time around, it's all just pretend.

"Hello, dearie, is there anything I can do for you?" says the old woman when Minseok meets her in the hallway.

He holds up the bag like it's something incriminating. "My... My boyfriend is allergic to potpourri, I'm sorry, but I tossed it completely in the trash before I realized that was probably a waste. I, I can pay for whatever it's worth, if you like."

"Oh, oh no, sweets, there's no problem. I'll just take it and remember to tell the maids not to put anymore back in the room when they clean it. You just tell me if there's anything else I can do to make your stay the most wonderful time ever, okay?"

He smiles lamely and thanks her.

Can you make us fall back in love? He wants to ask.

But he doesn't. Some things, after all, are beyond the scope of the world to fix.

 

 

 

They started dating in their third year of college. It was a hectic and crazy time to fall in love, but somewhere between exams and studying and the typical trying to stay alive, they made it work. Minseok dragged his boyfriend home on the weekends and during holidays. Lu Han fell in with his family like he'd never been apart, and everybody loved him. Minseok's sister called him brother, his parents called Lu Han son. Minseok called him a lot of other cheesy things in the dark of the night when he wasn't otherwise blinded by Lu Han's brilliant smile.

It's not like Minseok expected everything to stay the same. It's not like he expected they'd remain young and in love forever. He granted them leeway after graduating, knew that life would change a little. They'd settle into their respective job fields and bump along for a bit, but for some reason they never quite made that move from dating, to living with each other. Minseok worked on one end of town, Lu Han on the other. It made sense, it was logical to get their own separate places because, 'Besides, we'll be with each other every weekend anyways, it'll work...'

 

 

Minseok stares at the last remaining hues of the sunset. He dips his toes into the dirt below the rope swing he found in the backyard and tries not to wiggle too much. It looks sturdy enough, but he'd rather not break something so early during their stay and try the B&B owners' patience.

The porch door swings open and then shut. Minseok doesn't look to see who it is, but he has a guess, especially when a small voice clears its throat and sniffs harshly in the cool morning air.

"Was wondering where you were," Lu Han says.

"Oh, hey. Yeah." Were you really? Minseok thinks. He turns his head slightly to look at him. "Are you okay being out here? You look congested."

"It's the ragweed, must be really high right now." He holds out his phone, and Minseok recognizes the telltale signs of a man looking for signal in the countryside, a few bars, anything. Minseok’s had none since they drove beyond the hills.

Lu Han's profile is beautiful in this lighting, but he looks miserable. He always suffered from summer allergies, and here, out in the country with every blooming thing, is the very worst place for him to be.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dragged you out here this time a year."

He looks down at the dirt again, fleeing from the glimpse of Lu Han forming a wan smile.

"It's alright. I brought a lot of meds. They just haven't kicked in yet, probably. Besides... your mom will be so happy when we... when we show up back together. She deserves to be happy this weekend. Her daughter is getting married and..."

And her son is currently living a lie, Minseok wants to add.

Lu Han suddenly sneezes. Minseok pretends he didn't feel a light showering of whatever missed Lu Han's covering hand.

"Go back inside. Before you die," he teases. Is he allowed to tease Lu Han now? They're not dating. They're no longer in love. They just happened to meet up for one last weekend because it would make Minseok's family happy. And Lu Han likes making Minseok's family happy, even if doesn't really care about Minseok anymore.

"Yeah, I will. You coming?" Lu Han turns back towards the house. He slips his phone into his back pocket, defeated.

"Soon. Gonna watch the sun go all the way down." Down down down, with the pits of his heart.

The porch door creaks open and shut again, just as the crickets start to thrum. A lone warm breeze rustles Minseok's hair. For a few minutes, he struggles not to cry. When the danger is passed, he gets up and goes to their room.

Lu Han is already curled up on his side of the bed, knees to his chest and the comforter covering his nose. He's trying to make himself as small as possible, as inconspicuous as he can be on a bed they're expected to share. As if Minseok doesn't remember that Lu Han when he sleeps tends to stretch out, a leg here, an arm there, a stolen pillow. He's not so much a cuddler in his sleep as he likes to be touching something. Many a night when they slept together Minseok would wake up because of a ticklish finger straying across his collar bones, or cold feet wrapped gently around an ankle. A lingering array of warmth where their hips barely touched, reaching out, seeking that small dash of familiarity.

"Sleeping?" he asks, looking down at the figure under the covers. It's barely late enough to be considered bedtime, and while Lu Han is an early to bed kind of person, it's still too early. Unless something has changed.

Lu Han doesn't answer, but his breathing slowly changes pace.

He's not going to answer. He'd rather pretend to be asleep than deal with Minseok for more than they have to. At least, that’s how Minseok interprets this.

They didn't even sit beside each other on the plane ride here. The only reason they spent any time with each other since then was because Minseok's future brother-in-law Jongin picked them up from the airport and with the best man riding shotgun, Minseok and Lu Han had only the backseat. Perhaps that's been enough togetherness for one day.

He takes a long shower in the bathroom, being extra attentive to his hair because what else has he got to do. He pulls on clean pajamas and brushes his teeth the full two minutes, flosses slowly, and then stares at his reflection in the mirror for a long time after, remembering.

It's barely ten o'clock when Minseok crawls into bed, careful not to jostle the mattress too much on the off chance Lu Han has actually fallen asleep.

"Goodnight," he whispers a few minutes later.

There is no answer.

 

 

 

 

"Lu Han, my baby, there you areeee!!"

Minseok's mother is over the moon when she meets them the next morning. She clutches his head and kisses his cheeks, Lu Han smiling as he bends down for her to reach. Minseok's dad hovers in the background looking cautiously pleased, and Minseok meets his eyes once. His father winces pityingly. He knows, Minseok realizes. He knows this isn't real and that there's nothing Minseok can do about it now.

"It's good to see you again, sweetie. Minseok told me how you were having a rough year with your jobs. Nonsense, now I know my son is lame and a troublemaker, but you know you can always come to me if he's giving you issues." She looks sternly into Lu Han's eyes, her intent clear, and she clacks her tongue when Lu Han tries to deny it.

She hasn't really understood everything. That their 'troubles' actually lead to them breaking up. Minseok has tried to tell her multiple times, but his mother has a stubborn streak of selective hearing. She absolutely refuses to acknowledge the reason why Lu Han hasn't been around to their house for Christmas two years in a row.

"Mom, mom, I will..." Lu Han pouts, laughing actually as he tries to evade her pinching hands.

"Good boy, you better!" She lets him go with one more exaggerated smacking of her lips which don't even connect with his face. "Have you met Jongin then? Oh that's right, he picked you two up yesterday. Well, what do you think? He's okay for our daughter, right? You've given him the eye? I told Minseok I needed a detailed report of his interrogation, but you know my son. He just waved and blew me off. I'm counting on you, Lu Han. It's not too late to call off the wedding if you think he's unworthy." She winks and goes on with a full summary of his sister's courtship. It takes them through most of the entire breakfast, which they share, just the four of them.

At least the diatribe keeps his mother well occupied. She never once strays from the topic of the wedding. Specifically, she never opens the topic of why Minseok and Lu Han don't look close. It would be suspicious to everyone else watching. How Minseok only passes him the serving dishes, and Lu Han's small thanks and smiles don't extend to his eyes. Minseok misses that the most, those sparkling twinkling eyes. But Lu Han converses with his parents evenly, never missing a beat, and he never fails to call her mom and Minseok's dad dad. And every time, a part of Minseok's soul dies a little and revives, and then dies a little more.

Were it not for Kris acting as the mutual go-between, Lu Han wouldn't have even known about the wedding. Or that Minseok had complained to Kris about his mom insisting Lu Han should come.

He wasn't going to ask. He absolutely wasn't going to call and ask.

Instead, Lu Han called him. And wasn't it pathetic that Minseok caved so fast to Lu Han's small request to oblige his mother one last time, Minseok craving anything just to see him again.

  
  
  
 

His sister Minah, when he meets her later, is casually ecstatic. She even ceases talking about her wedding and Jongin, favoring more taking Minseok aside and giving him pointed looks in Lu Han’s direction.

“You brought him. Lu Han. Oh, Minseok, I’m so excited for you. I thought… well, but have things changed? You’re together now again?”

“We… uhm, yeah.”

He hesitates a second too long.

“Minseok, what’s wrong. Something’s wrong.”

“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just… we had a long flight and it was a long day before that and-”

She rubs her hand across his forearm comfortingly, frowning like she doesn’t quite believe him. “So you’re just tired? Minseok, consider this a vacation. You never take time off, and I purposefully don’t have anything for you to do. Or, well, at least not much. Enjoy yourself. You and Lu Han, both.”

She cranes upwards on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek and then promptly pounces over to Lu Han to greet him too. Minseok watches them a distance, how Lu Han beams at her and wishes her all the best, tells her he likes and approves of Jongin. He even manages to tell an embarrassing joke about her childhood when Jongin stalks over to join them a second later.

Meanwhile Minseok absorbs himself in checking out a landscape painting in the front entryway of the B&B where some of the family is gathered and listens in. His dad moves to stand by him gloomily, and when Minah takes a break from chattering, she meets Minseok’s eyes across the room and frowns worriedly again.

He’s getting the distinct impression that their little farce isn’t going so well.

  
  
 

“I think your sister knows.”

Minseok hears Lu Han’s words, but he doesn’t know what to do with them. They’re in their bedroom near the end of the day. All the daylight hours they spent traveling back and forth from the B&B and the church and the little village town getting things ready for the wedding tomorrow. The only thing left on tonight’s agenda is the family dinner, followed by Jongin’s bachelor party.

Minseok fits his tie snugly around his neck, staring at his reflection through the floor length mirror beside the dresser. Lu Han edges him aside so he can see himself too. For a moment it’s like old times, elbowing each other and sharing space. Lu Han’s hands falter and his tie is pulled askew. Minseok immediately moves to help him, like he’d often do. His fingers are inches away when Lu Han jolts and lets out a gaspy squeaking noise.

“Oh… excuse me, sorry.” Minseok immediately steps away, his heart racing stupidly.

He leaves Lu Han to fumble on his own, tracking down shoes and socks instead, until he looks over to see Lu Han still battling the tie. Their gazes meet in the mirror and Lu Han looks defeated.

“Please. Help?”

His hands are sweaty. His fingers suddenly feel too large for his body. The proximity brings him towards Lu Han’s chest and body and face, and if he lifted his head and angled just right, Minseok could kiss him, standing here.

He doesn’t though. Instead, he pulls the tie through all the right loops and adjusts it just right, never lifting his gaze. Lu Han stares off into another corner of the room, but his breath hitches onces or twice and it makes Minseok feel on edge.

He backs away again as soon as it’s done.

“Minseok, wait…”

He stops abruptly, Lu Han’s hand on his elbow, fingers pressing into the seams of his suit jacket. He breathes once, a long inhale, and coaches his face into something resembling a calm individual before turning around.

“Hm?” He mumbles pleasantly.

“Minseok… look, there’s no reason for us to be quite so awkward around each other, right? We’re just friends now. We can act naturally, right?”

“Was I… not acting natural?” Minseok asks.

Lu Han is staring down at his face, and Minseok hates it but he can’t read his expression. Is that pity, or exasperation? Is he annoyed at how badly Minseok’s been ‘acting’ or amused? It’s clear to both of them by now that Minseok hasn’t played his part to anything near perfection. For that matter, Lu Han’s been doing all the work. Lu Han’s the one cozying up Minseok’s mom and teasing Minah, and chatting with his dad, and not wriggling out of holds whenever one of the elderly aunts gets her hands on him. And all the while, Minseok stares on from the side because he can’t believe how smooth Lu Han is. It almost angers him.

“I shouldn’t have volunteered,” Lu Han whines, his expressing dropping uncharacteristically fast. “I’m making things worse, I’m sorry.”

“What?” Minseok is taken aback. “No, no you’re not. Everybody is… everybody loves having you here. That’s what this is about, right?”

“Making your mom happy? And Minah?” Lu Han sinks down onto the foot of the bed and slumps there for a moment. “I don’t mean them. I mean, us. This is making it worse on us and I’m sorry. I thought we could just do this for one weekend and-”

“We can,” Minseok rushes to answer. He wants Lu Han to stop talking. To just shut up and go on with his role because Minseok can play it now. He can do his part. “It’s my fault, I’m sorry. We… we can do this. Just for the weekend and then… and then…”

“And then we go back to how it was.”

Minseok swallows, his throat suddenly very dry. “Y-yeah.”

They finish getting ready in silence. Clothes in place, check. Hair fixed, check. Wallets and room key, check. Phone in pockets, because even if they can’t make a call, there are still pictures to be taken, check.

Minseok stops him at the door.

“Ready?” Lu Han inquires.

“Yeah, mostly. Just… let me do something first.”

Lu Han looks distinctly uncomfortable when Minseok shifts him around so that his back is to the door. He plants his hands around Lu Han’s shoulders and steps up close.

“W-what are you doing?”

Minseok gulps and pushes back a wave of fear. “P-practicing.”

“Practicing? Practicing what?” Lu Han’s voice is small, and nervous.

“This.”

Minseok tilts his head and closes his eyes, and the second before his lips close gently around Lu Han’s, he peeks. His ‘boyfriend’ for the night has also closed his eyes, and a tiny gasp, an exhale, seeps out of his mouth. It may be the chastest kiss they've ever shared in their entire existence, including when they were newly dating and just as nervous, but Minseok’s never felt anything so beautiful. Lu Han’s soft lips, closing but not pressing, unmoving but not drawing away. No hands come to wrap around Minseok’s back, and Lu Han’s back doesn’t arch to join their bodies closer, but his eyes are closed and his lips are there. He’s moist to the touch and Minseok just needs this moment to renew his strength, like from a wellspring of the past.

He gently rights himself and dares a glance at Lu Han’s face. The man’s eyelashes are fluttering open, a soft blush upon his cheeks.

“There,” says Minseok.

“There, what?”

“Now I can do this. Come on.”

 

 

 

 

The family dinner that evening is an intimate, joyous affair. Half of the aunts are tipsy, a few children play by the buffet table. Minseok’s mother is crying; the rest of the family members are busy stuffing their face. Minah preens, laughing loudly where she sits next to her fiance in the midst of her best friends who tease Jongin mercilessly about all their wild ‘plans’ for the bachelorette party.

Minseok knows, thanks to a word from Jongin earlier, that the men at least don’t plan to be so raucous. He and Lu Han are invited of course. The party starts at 10pm at a separate B&B suite hosted by Jongin’s best man Sehun.

“You guys are ready, right!?” Sehun hangs off Minseok’s shoulder like he hasn’t just met him yesterday. Then he remembers Lu Han and sighs. “Oh, but no fair you get to bring your significant other. The rest of us will all be single and lonely tonight… no action whatsoever, what a shame.” He winks. Minseok pretends he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

“Hey, enough of that. Picking on my future brother-in-law.” Jongin comes to his rescue verbally. Lu Han… leans close and drapes his arm around Minseok’s shoulders, smirking. Sehun’s eye light up at the challenge.

“Jongin, I think he doesn’t need you to save him,” Sehun laughs.

Later, seated side by side on the corner of Sehun’s bed, Minseok tries not to shudder from the proximity. Lu Han hasn’t left his side. Lu Han keeps touching him, talking to him, flirting with him… like they aren’t damned well dating already, or—that’s wrong. Like they didn’t already go through this stage before and didn’t watch it ultimately fail.

The other guests are much younger than them. And even if they aren’t, they certainly act like it. Minseok doesn’t know any of them, but after a few torturous hours of watching Baekhyun and Sehun bicker over who can drink the most, Tao and Jongin dangerously bouncing on the other bed alternately singing and rapping to love songs, it seems like they’d be fun people to know. In other another lifetime perhaps where Lu Han isn’t getting clingier and clingier for every glass of suspicious alcohol someone puts into his hands.

“Hey Minseok, Lu Han, come on, guys, tell us how you met. There’s got to be more in life than this shoddy singledom,” Sehun whines when the clock passes 1am.

Lu Han beams and giggles. Minseok grabs the plastic cup out of his hands and deposits it on the bedside table.

“Ahh, you don’t want to hear that…” Minseok chuckles with a purpose, blushing for more reasons than one.

Lu Han almost snorts, however, he’s also blushing furiously. For a full couple seconds, he leans away from Minseok’s shoulder, as if he’s suddenly become aware of their closeness. His hand has been wrapped around Minseok’s lower back waist almost constantly over the last hour. There’s a light sweat across Minseok’s brow from struggling with the proximity. A further wave of heat and panic—from memories, from the pain of now—hits him in multiple waves, sweat drops accruing more.

“Look at them, they’re both bright red. This is probably going to be a great story.”

Lu Han steals Minseok’s drink from his hands, since Minseok had snatched his. He downs a long gulp, but the act of avoidance doesn’t fool anyone. A chant takes up, started by Sehun, then followed by Tao and Baekhyun, finally to Jongin, and even another friend of theirs, Kyungsoo, who’s been quiet thus far.

“Tell us! Tell us!”

Minseok waves his hands, panicking. “Nah, it’s too boring. You won’t want to hear it.”

 

 

 

The story of how they met, it used to be such a funny tale. All their friends at the time were there to witness it, but everyone still liked to hear it recount it, or else tell it themselves.

They were drunk, Lu Han more than Minseok. Two strangers at a weekend party at a mutual friend's apartment. Minseok was nursing a beer, Lu Han held a cocktail in a red plastic cup. One moment Minseok was watching a riotous game of beer pong, the next, someone—a beautiful someone—had tapped him on the shoulder and when Minseok turned around to see who it was, a pair of lips had captured his own.

Lu Han thought he was kissing someone he'd been unsuccessfully flirting with for an entire week. It was the most awkward case of mistaken identity ever, but he kissed so good and Minseok was so thoroughly confused, he didn't push him off. They made out for an entire hour, according to Kris. Joonmyun said it was more like five minutes, and then Lu Han passed out in Minseok's lap, fell asleep for the remaining hour, and when he woke up it was to Minseok's fingers running fondly through his hair. 

That part, Minseok remembers well. How he spent an age making rippling patterns through this stranger's short soft hair, studying his profile and his cheekbones, and the bridge of his nose and his lips which were incredibly soft against the pads of Minseok's fingertips. 

"His name's Lu Han," said another stranger at the time, whose name Minseok later learned was Jongdae. "Just... humor him for a while? And maybe take him home when he wakes up? I just saw a hot piece of... something, and anyways he's a really great guy! You'll love him, thanks, bye!"

That night, Jongdae got his hot piece of something, and Minseok eventually sobered up enough to drag a half-sleeping, half-drunk stranger whose name was Lu Han and who kissed so well back to his own apartment for the night.

 

 

 

"Wow." Sehun sways drunkenly at the 'conclusion' of their story, his eyes barely staying open and words slurring. "Tha's incredible. I bet you had hot sex that night. Woooooooo!"

He gets slapped on top of the head by Jongin which successfully shuts him up. However, the damage is done. Minseok is blushing bright red. Lu Han chuckles shyly and looks down at the floor. It just so happens the angle of his gaze coincides with Minseok's thigh, and how exactly did Lu Han's hand end up there...? Minseok tenses, and Lu Han pulls it quickly away. 

They didn't actually sleep together that first night.

They had an eventual morning wake-up session full of hangover headaches, bad breath, cold showers and regret. _Then_ they introduced themselves properly, and _then_ they had sex. 

Thinking back on it now, it's a wonder they even did that. Two old souls in such bizarre circumstances that Minseok barely recognizes himself from that evening so many years ago. Nowadays... he'd never. Never let a stranger kiss him. Never let a drunk person fall asleep on his lap. Never take that person back to his apartment and let him share his bed. Never fall in love with that person before he'd even learned Minseok's name...

 

 

 

Or maybe he's not so far removed from his younger self as Minseok would like to believe. 

It certainly seems real enough now, for he's certainly stupid enough to let the same thing happen all over again. With a few minor differences, like the press of Lu Han's lips against his throat as soon as they return to their room. Minseok rolls his head back and moans, eyes sinking into the back of his head because, "Fuck.... me." 

Lu Han's tie is already undone. He tugs Minseok's off as well, then the top buttons of his sweat dampened pleated shirt. Minseok gasps for air, his arms hanging uselessly by his side as he searches for something to hold onto. The ridges of the door, the door handle, Lu Han's hips. All of those great options, but even better when he finds the clasp of Lu Han's belt and starts to unwind it from the loops of his pants. 

Lu Han is fully hard by the time Minseok gets him out of his clothes. His own shirt lost on the floor, boxers hanging on by a hair, low on his hips, Minseok pushes his ex-lover onto the bed and crashes their teeth together. It's a collision of panting breaths and moans, and gasps. He sinks his body on top of Lu Han's and rolls their hips together. The friction makes Lu Han buck towards the ceiling and thrust his hand down past the elastic of Minseok's underwear as they make a last attempt to ditch their clothes entirely. 

Minseok rolls onto his side. Lu Han continues their momentum until he's the one hovering overhead, knees pressing into the mattress, hips in the air and his cock dragging low against Minseok's belly as they kiss long enough to make up for the last two years. Minseok cries when their lengths rub together, a burning awkward slide of skin on skin, and he wants to fix that. Wants to push Lu Han aside and race to his suitcase for the emergency supplies he knew he shouldn't have packed, but now he knows why he did.

Is this what this whole scenario was for? Did he anticipate this? Is that why he let Lu Han make the offer to pretend... pretend to be his boyfriend, pretend to still be in love with him, because all the while Minseok hoped they might get together once more? Is this the last offer of intimacy before it all returns to normal, or does Lu Han still love him and want to be with him.

"God... Minseok." Lu Han's breath strains harshly against Minseok's throat where he alternates panting and bruising Minseok's skin. They're marks that will show tomorrow, but Minseok doesn't even care. He'll be wearing a suit. That's a high enough collar that no one will ever know... what. What will no one find out? That Minseok is an idiot? That Minseok let Lu Han into his bed, let him return to his life? That he got so purposefully light-headed he could pretend to be drunk and let Lu Han fuck him like they've never been apart?

As it is, Minseok doesn't even have to leave the bed. It's Lu Han who drags himself away and stumbles across the room in the near darkness as he dives into his suitcase. And it's Lu Han who returns with a bottle of lubrication and a whole pack of condoms still in their original unopened box. How long has it been since Minseok felt his fingers down there, stretching him open. How long since Lu Han's tongue sucked circles around his pale, pink nipples. And how long since Lu Han has exercised that massive upper body strength to lift Minseok up and turn him around and pull his hips up to meet, cock to the crevice between Minseok's cheeks as they slammed together in stuttering synchrony?

Too long.

Much too long.

 _Much, much too long_ is the duration of the orgasm Lu Han draws from Minseok's body... The drag of Lu Han's cock against his skin, and the hands that burn upon his thighs like so many familiar memories Minseok has but only dreamed about for the last several years. The way he pants Minseok's name when he comes, sending each of them over the edge.

They shudder together and fall to their sides, Lu Han's lips still upon the curve the Minseok's neck and spine and his arms wrapped firmly across Minseok's stomach hovering close, too close, to his spent cock. Not even a full minute later, Lu Han strokes him there again, a soft glide of moist fluids between his fingers. Minseok cries out and arches his back, straining away from oversensitivity. It brings tears to his eyes, tears from which Minseok isn't positive aren't due entirely to this man's entire presence here. Lu Han touches his thigh instead, palm wrapped tightly between the most intimate places on Minseok's body like he's never letting him go.

Minseok falls in and out of consciousness. The red numbers of the bedside clock blare all different hours of the night and early morning. At some point Lu Han is still laying beside him. At another, he's not in the bed. Later, they're back shoulder to shoulder, and when Minseok wakes up the last time, it's him clinging to Lu Han's warm back frame. He's got a foot shoved between Lu Han's ankles, one knee pressed softly to the back of Lu Han's buttocks, and a palm captured between Lu Han's upper arm and his chest, tethered like he's never letting go.

But he does. Minseok unwinds himself carefully, silently, slowly. Lu Han's breathing remains even and Minseok drags himself to his feet. He flexes his muscles, already anticipating the ache and the burn from the last night's activities. He touches his thighs, expecting to find traces of come. But while his muscles and his back are sore, his skin has been cleaned smooth. A dirty rag lies in the bathroom sink. 

Twenty minutes later, showered, dressed, his teeth brushed, Minseok returns to the scene of the crime. In Lu Han's hand next to his pillow is his phone. Minseok pulls it from his lax fingers, curious why it would be in Lu Han's hand, why he fell asleep with it within his clutch.

The passcode is the same as it was two years ago. It opens to a notification of failed text delivery, Kris' name in the send box, and a picture attachment above one line with a cry for help.

'I slept with him. Fuck, shit, I didn't mean for that to happen, Kris, but I slept with him! What do I do now???' 

The picture was taken while Minseok was still asleep. A selfie Lu Han took of them together with the phone high above their heads and Minseok's contented, blissed out face buried in the crook of Lu Han's neck. Minseok looks happy enough, in his sleep. Lu Han is wide awake, and crying.

The text never went through. Kris hasn't seen this yet. And he won't.

Minseok deletes the draft and the picture as well.

 

 

 

 

The wedding itself begins at four o'clock. All morning and afternoon Minseok keeps himself busy, purposefully running errands for his sister and family, collecting last minute relatives from the airport, making sure his mother doesn't get stressed, and he never speaks with Lu Han except for once. In the morning just before he disappears. 

"I'm gonna... go see what needs to be done... see you in a bit..."

And Lu Han just nods. "Okay. I'll see if Jongin needs any help." 

"Cool."

They don't meet again until the groom is standing in place at the front of the church, best man and the pastor beside him. Minseok's parents begin the processional walk and settle in the front pew. His mother winks at Minseok where he stands in his best suit and tie, looking handsome he knows, beside an equally handsome Lu Han. 

A part of him wants to grab Lu Han's hand. Would it be too much, to reach for it right now? For support? This is his baby sister after all. That's not too much to ask, right?

Their knuckles bump against each other when the music changes. The bridal party is already lining up, Minseok can't wait to see his sister in her dress. It's a very emotional affair, and compounded with what happened last night... He jolts apart a few inches and refuses to meet Lu Han's eyes. The ceremony is here for his sister and her husband-to-be. It's not a time to be occupied with his own petty thoughts, however _not petty_ they may actually be. What kind of brother would he be if he's stressing out about himself for the duration of her entire wedding.

He and Lu Han and the rest of the guests shift in the pews to face Minah as she marches slowly down the aisle, starlight beaming from her eyes and the sweetest smile of all. On the podium, Jongin looks like the proudest man alive, and Minseok's heartstrings catch on themselves painfully. Oh to be looked at like those two are gazing at each other. When Minseok has had that, felt that before, from the man who stands next to him now.

"She's beautiful," Lu Han whispers into Minseok's ear, each of them playing the part of a devoted brother. And Minseok has to remind himself: That's all this is. That's all this is...

 

 

 

 

"Minseok, you must be so proud! Look at you, you're beaming! Such an exciting day, awwww your own little sister. And what a handsome brother you just gained. So! Are you next!? Wasn't that your boyfriend I saw around here a few minutes ago. Oh, look... there he is. What a looker! It's been quite a long time, hasn't it... that you've been together? Will you have a big wedding? Or a small one. Have you thought about cake flavors? I know a particularly good bakery in town, they have a lemon cream frosting that's just delectable! You must go by there sometime and get a sample slice. Never too early to be thinking about weddings you know..."

 

 

 

 

Somehow, somewhere, someday, at some hour.... this reception has got to end. 

Minseok's smile has been frozen on his face for at least a two hours. Lu Han wears a matching expression of pained elegance. Two hours since the reception began, three since the ceremony itself. They sit together at the edge of the family table, and once again Minseok has drunk too many glasses of wine. He's not even a happy drunk. On the contrary, his stomach feels a little bit peeved, and his head hurts. Lu Han slides a glass of water conveniently in front of his hand, and that makes Minseok's head hurt even more. How dare... how dare Lu Han be so good at this. Playing the considerate boyfriend who knows exactly what Minseok needs. (Just like he knew last night exactly what Minseok wanted.) 

If just one more relative nags Minseok about when he and Lu Han are getting married, Minseok may combust and... propose to Lu Han on the spot, just to get it over with. Would it be too late to make this a double wedding? Surely his sister wouldn't mind if he borrowed a little of her thunder.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Minseok cringes instead. He wobbles to the side where Lu Han catches him around the shoulders. "Help me... please."

They make an awkward shuffle towards the bathroom, Lu Han never letting him go. Minseok doubles over a toilet just in time to throw up his dinner, which is colored with the taste of too much wine. The acid bile makes him continue to gag, even long after he's heaved everything there was to heave. His forehead is sweaty, he feels like shit. Someone—Lu Han of course—has pulled his tie out of the way, and he holds a damp paper towel to his chin. 

"There there... you'll be okay. I've got you," the man is whispering, comforting words that should make Minseok feel better, but instead they make him cry. 

It's been such a long day. Minah is married, the celebration was extravagant, the meal quite decadent, the cake delicious, the toasting and the champagne and the dancing... He had to dance with Lu Han. They twirled and twirled and spun and held on, and hugged, and Minah grew particularly delighted that Minseok was having such a good time, so much that Minseok—already a shade too drunk—grew infected by her aura and did something wild. He kissed Lu Han in the middle of the dance floor and was very nearly swept off his feet by Lu Han's hearty response.

The party is still in full swing. They can hear the music, and the DJ over that, the sounds of laughter and chatter and glasses clinking. Another shout of merriment floats across the hall, down the hallway and into the bathroom where the muted echoes of happiness convulse and twist and reshape in Minseok's head. Like the hollow echo of joy, the reality of everything he's been trying to avoid all day. 

"Are you alright now?" Lu Han asks, his tone still worried. "Come on, let's get you over to the sink. You'll feel better when you wash your face."

But of course Minseok can't do that by himself. So it's Lu Han who dampens another towel and places it on his cheeks and forehead, adding another one to the back of his neck until Minseok can open his eyes without getting dizzy, and it's Lu Han who gets him off the sink counter and slowly drags him outside where they can breathe in the warm evening air. 

Lu Han sneezes. His allergies still getting to him. Minseok has been so preoccupied with himself all day he didn't realize how much Lu Han has suffered. 

"I'm so sorry," Minseok whimpers. Both of them find a long, quiet sidewalk to meander down. They lean against a banister railing, Lu Han's hand still supporting him from behind. Minseok should push it off. He should stand up by himself and let Lu Han take a rest. He doesn't.

A few minutes later, Lu Han finally responds. "Sorry for what? For getting drunk at your sister's wedding?" He laughs lightly, as if he thinks this conversation is unnecessary. He takes large breaths to compensate for his stuffy nose and allergies, but otherwise doesn't look affected. 

Maybe it's not necessary for him, but for Minseok it's very necessary. 

"I'm sorry for confusing you."

That brings down the tone of this conversation from light to serious. Lu Han doesn't reply. He does, however, lower the arm that's around Minseok's waist until it falls by their sides. Then he takes Minseok by the hand and turns to look him in the face. Minseok almost looks away. It would be easier to do that, to ignore this whole thing. One more night that they have to 'pretend' and then they can return to their normal, regular lives. Separate and alone.

"Minseok, do you know why I volunteered to come here?" His voice is soft, almost yearning. And now, Minseok does look down. He stares at his toes as a cricket hops across the sidewalk and wills himself not to cry. He's not even sure he's got any tears left to cry.

"Because of my family—" he starts. 

"No, Minseok. It's because of you. I came because it was a chance to see you again." Lu Han sighs and leans back against the railing. He looks up at the stars, but his hand tightens even more solidly around Minseok's clenching fist. Then he continues his monologue. 

"At first, I thought it would be good, just to make my peace and say my goodbyes. I never really got over the way we just... fell apart. It just happened, before I knew it, it had happened. I missed you, but I for a while I was pretty sure we'd done the right thing. Breaking up. And then... then I realized I still missed you. And by then, everything was much too late. So when Kris called to tell me that you were complaining about your mother, who was complaining about not seeing me... I took that chance. I wanted to see you. At least to be here for you. Even... even I didn't expect how much it would matter. Minseok, I'm pretty sure I still love you. As much now as we did... then. And if you don't feel that way about me now, then please just say something and I'll go away. We can go away like we meant to before this wedding began and—"

He doesn't say another word. He can't, not with Minseok pressing their fronts together as he hugs him. Hugs him like it hurts. A dry sob wracks Minseok's body from chest to throat, but Lu Han's arms immediately circle behind him and hold the two of them in place, one around his waist, one upon the back of his head. It's a hesitant hold, a tentative, curious, almost frighteningly intimate gesture. Minseok can tell by the way Lu Han's arms shiver with tension and he gasps out loud. Meanwhile Minseok buries his nose into his ex-lover's shirt collar and dares anyone to force him apart, Lu Han included.

"I hate this. I hate this," he chants into the shoulder crease of Lu Han's jacket. 

"Hate what?" Lu Han pulls back far enough so Minseok can answer.

"This," Minseok sobs. "That I'm drunk. That I feel like shit. That my little sister got married, and that means I'm old. I'm getting so old, and I hate it. I hate all of this. Especially you. I hate that you are still... absolutely the best." 

Lu Han laughs. It goes a long way to soothing Minseok's heart, right before he hugs him again and this time Minseok knows he's not going anywhere. He's not letting Lu Han go anywhere either, for as long as they both shall live. 

The crickets chirp in the bush beside the sidewalk. A warm, moist wind drives the scent of the country night air. The party inside the hall continues uninterrupted, oblivious to the renewal of love happening right outside its walls. 

"Do you forgive me for last night?" Lu Han whispers. He leans comfortably back on the railing, and lets Minseok melt comfortably against his body, their knees intertwined, supporting his weight. "We were both...kind of tipsy. So... I was worried. I took advantage of you."

"No," Minseok sniffs. He releases one of his hands, finds a handkerchief in one of Lu Han's pockets, and brings it to his nose to blow. "No, you didn't. I wanted that... I wanted all of that... I wanted all of that, and more. I just didn't know how to ask to get you back. And you know what, if I wasn't still feeling sick and miserable right now, and still slightly drunk, I probably wouldn't be saying any of this, but."

"But?" Lu Han prompts him with another soft laugh.

"But..."

A door emerging from the reception hall bursts open halfway down the sidewalk. The wedding is mostly over, the guests are starting to leave. From inside, they hear the piano thundering as the bride and groom begin to make their getaway. 

"After," says Lu Han. "Let's see your sister off, and then go back to our room."

Minseok groans. "No, there's still the stupid clean-up to do. And my head is pounding. I'm going to pass out. I want to sleep. I don't want to take down decorations or drag out the trash, and by the time that's all done with, I'll be sober and hungover and then we won't talk, we'll just go back to our room and sleep and..." He trails off, Lu Han pushing him to stand upright on his own two feet with one of the sweetest, funniest smiles that Minseok has grown to love.

"I promise, as soon as the last bag of trash is gone... we'll talk. Seriously. No alcohol."

"And then maybe can we have sex again?" Minseok whines.

"Yes," says Lu Han with another glorious smile. 

They begin to walk towards the open doorway, Minseok beaming internally until it spills forth from his face, Lu Han's answer still ingrained upon his mind. "Yes," Minseok whispers, echoing that final word. "Yes, he said yes, shit, my head hurts so bad. Lu Han, do you have a pain killers? I think I'm going to die."

"Yes," Lu Han says again, still laughing. "I have some. I'll even go get you some if you sit down for a few minutes and drink some water. Can you do that?"

"Yes," Minseok repeats, and keeps on repeating. His head is still thumping, the crowd inside is loud, and he's barely aware of what he's doing, walking or saying because the only thing that matters right now is that Lu Han is his again. "Yes. Okay, good. Yes, he said yes. Mom, he said yes. So where's my sister, has she left yet? I wanted to say goodbye..."

 

 

One minute later. 

"Wait, did you just say, Lu Han said yes? Minseok, my son, did you just propose and Lu Han said yes?! Oh, my god what a beautiful beautiful night! Everyone! Everyone listen up!"

"What, no... mom, that's not what—"

"Minseok and Lu Han just got engaged!" 

 


End file.
